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Thursday, February 03, 2005: Just quit it
posted by the Professor at 1:52:00 AM
One of my own friends has notified me that she not only knows of, but has bid on this item:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5554956889
Go see it. I'll wait until you come back to continue.
No. Just stop it. All of this has gone too far. Just like Survivor and all of its spinoffs creating the wildly out of control reality-TV world we live in, all of this eBay madness has got to stop. First somebody sells a grilled cheese sandwich that might or might not happen to have a likeness that might portray the Virgin Mary if you close your right eye and hope a little bit. And people bought it! Then there are knockoffs of said sandwich. People bought those. Then a guy sold his forehead - HIS FOREHEAD - for advertising space. For $35,000. I saw one the other day where a large-breasted woman living in England was selling her cleavage space for advertising. Of course nobody will advertise racist or sexual or otherwise perverse things. You're only selling your product on her funbags. Know what her main selling point was? "I wear low-cut shirts a lot." Good thing you won't be selling any shady products. Wouldn't want Trojans to be on your titties. Better to advertise Elmo and the kids. But now to put yourself up for auction? For one thing, I'd like to think that women aren't so amazingly and appallingly shallow and vain... but judging by the 9 bids as of 12:30 am today, that's obviously incorrect. Come on people. Shame on you, Adam, for putting yourself and your "love services" up for bid on the internet. Shame on you and your family. I hope the roses you're buying cost more than you sell for. And ladies! He's preying on your inability to be alone on these stupidest of days, February 14th. You know you don't need a date for Valentine's Day. You know you don't even need a boyfriend. "Yeah, but it's nice." Well ok. Put some effort into it instead of $15. He's a freaking emotions prostitute. He takes your money, pretends to like you, you get some flowers, then what. You get to tell people in a week that either you've "broken up," he's "studying abroad," you make up other cards from him, or you tell people that you bought him on eBay. Does any of those situations make you feel... not pathetic? Honestly... there are guys out there. Real ones who would buy you flowers without you paying for them. Fuck, this stuff angers me. EBay and the internet have become a haven for stupidity and irrationality and the grossly obscene.
Whatever happened to going out and flirting?
Haha, this was supposed to be a humorous post... and it started that way. But then I just got angry.
:-)
