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Wednesday, February 09, 2005: Opposites Day
posted by the Professor at 10:20:00 AM
Girl survives scalping from her punk gang. Not even joking. She was wearing a mohawk. Apparently in that gang, you're not allowed to wear a mohawk if you disrespect women. Ah, the ironies. First a woman disrespecting women. Second, a punk group having morals. Third, scalping someone with a mohawk. The girl spent 2 weeks in the hospital. What are you people doing?
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/02/09/girl.scalped.ap/index.html
Another teacher charged with having sex with a pupil. 27-year-old teacher + 13-year-old student = all kinds of disaster. Teacher's kinda hot though. This is the country we live in now. Sex in school. Everybody knows all about it.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/02/09/teacher.charged.ap/index.html
Car bomb outside Madrid Convention Center. Basque Separatists have claimed it; happened a few hours before the King and Queen and the visiting Mexican president, Vicente Fox, would have been there to kick off an art festival of sorts. Either their information was flawed or they legitimately didn't want to hurt anybody in the government. If it was the first, they just wasted 66 pounds of explosives. Why is this necessary? Why not just move to a summer home or something if you don't like your government?
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/02/09/spain.blast/index.html
Fiorina is forced out at HP. After being the leading corporate female headpiece since 1998, Carly Fiorina's "turns out maybe it wasn't a good idea" ideas have apparently caught up with her. After buying Compaq in 2002, the company stagnated for a little while; the boost that buying Compaq was supposed to bring never came. Now the board's upset about it. Her position was bought out and a search for a new CEO is underway. Don't feel too bad for her though... despite her possibly (saying this in hindsight) poor decisions, she's still leaving with a severance package that's giving her $21.1 million before stock options. I have a feeling Carly will be doing ok.
http://www.cnn.com/money/2005/02/09/technology/hp_fiorina/index.htm?cnn=yes
I honestly can't believe it news:
Virginians better watch out. Fashion police are in. The state's House of Delegates passed a law 60-34 imposing a fine for anybody caught with visible underwear. It's an anti-sagging law. The bill's biggest opponent, Spruill, a black Democrat, urged his compatriots to remember their own fashion follies of their heyday and pleaded with the speaker to strike it down - it would just make people come to court over the way they want to wear their clothes. The bill's sponsor, Howell, said constituents in his district are offended by the fashion. Howell is also a black Democrat.
Honestly. Wtf.
The bill goes to the state Senate next.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/02/09/low.pants.ap/index.html
McDonald's actually sells Lincoln Fry. The more appalling story, Lincoln Fry actually gets bids - at publication, $100,100. The fast-food magnate is selling the Lincoln Fry after airing two commercials featuring the fry being found and put up for auction. Proceeds supposedly go to the Ronald McDonald House Charities.
People... STOP IT! You're giving them reason to pull this shit! And people say I buy shit I don't need and I pay way too much for it. Somebody has bid $100,100 on a plastic French Fry from the biggest, most bloated, least healthy, least ethical corporation on the face of the planet. "But I just want a piece of McDonald's paraphernalia!" Go get a fucking Happy Meal!
Auction: http://page.auctions.shopping.yahoo.com/auction/89133085?aucview=0x70
No, I'm not even kidding.
Story: http://money.cnn.com/2005/02/09/news/fortune500/mcdonalds_abefry/index.htm?cnn=yes
All right, that's your news update for the day, kiddos. I'm sorry, there was just too much in today that was important. The honest news was for the most part tragic... and then you get the bullshit just thrown in there with it. Later guys.
